The Decade in Advice; Part II 2015 – 2019

​To my 2015 self,

​I know I’ve already said this a lot, but THIS IS A BIG FUCKING YEAR for you. You’re done school and now you’re a green fashion graduate hungry for an industry job.

While interning this year you meet Miranda, who will end up being your first editor, a role model and someone you’ll be friends with for years later. This is one of those chance encounter that snowballs into your wonderful weird life later. Writing for Miranda and StyleByFire.ca is how you get to go to cool events, network and receive PR products. When people ask you how you got your start (a thing that will forever baffle you) you’ll always think back to this time.

There is no discounting the fact that your blogging/writing career was sparked by Miranda. A lot of people start blogging and never get to go to the events you go to and receive the product you get but due to StylebyFire.ca doing all the legwork, you just get to have a little black book of PR firms you can reach out to when you end up blogging on your own.

Being in the industry is also tough though and it might sound unbelievable, but you do delete those photo altering apps. This photo is one of the only photos from this year you ever share because nearly every photo taken of you at an event is extremely photoshopped. You make your legs look a bit longer, your waist look a bit slimmer and a lot of your photos don’t even look like you.

Your biggest lesson learnt is to always be your authentic self and being kind goes further than you think. Seriously, you met Miranda at a retail store you were interning at (aka: working for FREE) steaming clothes and it would one day result in you doing cool shit like travelling to California for free or going backstage at Cirque du Soleil.

​Love always, V

February 2015 – 25 years old, at some fashion event – I can’t remember what it was but it was the Waterfall Building.
I found this PartySkirt in a thrift store and it felt like fate. I was in love with this super full style in bright pink and I still have this skirt even though I have no occasions to wear this to anymore.

​Also, check out those heels. I still have and wear heels often but this photo was during a time of me wearing heels always.

To my 2016 self,

First off, when I looked through photos from 2016 I found a lot of racy photos you took. I am not here to judge you, you do you, you look great sweetie.

This is a big year for you, career-wise. While you’re learning a lot writing for Style by Fire you also get your first 9-to-5 industry job at a fashion distribution and wholesaling company. Yay! Hustle pays off more than you know and you get promoted from a customer service rep to a brand manager pretty quickly (a move that will help you leverage better jobs moving forward) but what really takes you by surprise are the people. You’ll get to meet some of the most incredible women while working at Diverse Group and their friendship becomes fucking priceless to you.

You also get to start wardrobing for big concert tours more often this year! It’s a job you’ll never really be able to wrap your head around because it’s so fucking cool that you get to work backstage of some of the people you’ve looked up to the most your entire childhood (including the Dixie Chicks!)

You really throw yourself into work though. To the point where literally nothing else matters. You prioritize work over friends, fitness and mental well-being. You end up giving your all to an industry (and a company) that could not care less about the emotional toll it takes on you. Sadly, it won’t even be the last time this happens.

Your biggest lesson learnt is that you can follow your passion and still be unhappy.

​Love always, V

To my 2017 self,

Judging by the photos, 2017 just seems like more 2016. Lots of nude pics, lots of overly done eyebrows, lots of group pics with friends.

Don’t worry too much about those brows, you also get your brows microbladed this year and for whatever reason your face just agrees with the process and they’ll last years. (Seriously, 2020 Vicki talking here, people will still ask you if they’re freshly microbladed.)

You also quit your emotionally crushing fashion job for another emotionally crushing fashion job! Congrats! On the plus side, soul-sucking job 2.0 is in walking distance from your apartment and doesn’t require you to work overtime anymore so you get to reclaim some of your life back.

You try online dating and literally go on one date this year because the whole process was too scary and you throw up before your first date because social anxiety is a real thing that you don’t quite comprehend you have yet.

You also have time to start prioritizing fitness again! Hooray! You take pole dancing classes in hopes that you might lose a bit of weight so that you can feel sexier. Girl. Let me tell you, pole fitness changes your life because you do feel sexier and you learn that it has nothing to do with your weight.

You feel sexier being around empowered dancers who embrace their bodies, all shapes and sizes. You feel sexier owning your sensuality and just learning to be comfortable in your body again. Learning pole is so much more empowering than you ever imagine.

Your biggest lesson learnt is that confidence is sexy. Also, while your confidence should never stem from what a man thinks about you being around real men instead of immature boys makes a big difference. Men you don’t feel the need to suck your stomach in whenever they’re around and look at you like you’re the most beautiful thing they’ve ever seen, even without all those layers of makeup you love.

​Love always, V

 TherTo my 2018 self,

Girl, did you model for a local swimwear brand because you learned how to love your body? Fuck yeah, you did.

I could write posts for DAYS about how much your mentality changes when it comes to your weight and your body but I’ll keep it short and sweet for now.

You stop worrying about what the tag says the size is because you learn to accept that the best clothes for you are clothes that fit you. You learn the hard way that sometimes that means you don’t even fit into a large even though you don’t look in the mirror and think you need plus size clothing. NOT THAT IT MATTERS, because your worth is not your size, but you really only feel this way because the sizing is fucked at work and you can’t even fit into the largest size of “standard” sizing.

You get rid of clothes that don’t fit you anymore because they just make you sad, wondering if they’ll ever fit again. Even if they do, trust me, you’ll want to buy new clothes anyway.

Also, do you start blogging again just for you? Wow. Is that blog still up and running to this day? That’s incredible. This is the longest you’ve ever blogged without quitting. Get it girl.

Your biggest lesson learnt is to be wary of things that make you feel like shit and call it out. There is a reason why you shop at certain stores and not others, whether it’s the models they use or the sizing scale. It’s also how you determine your favourite fitness studios because you don’t need to settle for places that talk about “earning” your summer bod or burning holiday calories. Fuck those places.

​Love always, V

To my 2019 year old self,

What can I say that hasn’t already been said? You lose your job which brings you to your breaking point after what already feels like a tough year. This year you learn what imposter syndrome is, that you definitely have it and it gets amplified by a hundred when you lose your job.

It’s like every voice that has ever told you that you’re not that smart gets confirmation when you lose your job. It won’t even matter the you received no mentorship or training in your position, you’ll somehow feel like you failed despite the fact that you received no direction ever. (That’s fashion, baby!)

You’re surprised by how much it hurts because you knew it was coming. That’s what you get for working for a couple with no fucking chill. You knew it was coming two months before it happened and it still knocked you on your ass.

I wish I could say it all works out, but truth be told, you’re still working through it so you’re still pretty uncertain of what comes next. Although you are certain of what you don’t want in any job moving forward.

You also get to experience some pretty cool shit this year too and start getting paid to write!

Your biggest lesson learnt is to trust your intuition. A lot of people will tell you you’re being paranoid when you tell them that you think your employer wants to fire you but guess what? You were fucking right. You knew it in the pit of your stomach and you couldn’t shake that feeling.

​Love always, V

(Also, for the love of God, Vicki. NO MORE REDHEADS – they’re nothing but grief.)